There’s the parenting everyone sees. Then there’s everything you’re carrying in your head that no one else can see.

In this episode of Sip & Stim, Toni and Kate talk about the invisible mental load that can come with raising a child with autism: appointments, therapies, schedules, safety planning, sensory needs, medications, school, travel, backup plans, and the constant responsibility of remembering what everyone else may never have to think about.

They talk about what it feels like when a simple outing requires a checklist, when coming home doesn’t mean you get to stop, and when having support in your home can still mean never fully turning off. Toni also shares what it’s like to be the default planner and information keeper for her family, including preparing for emergencies, packing what Greyson may need, and thinking through the “what ifs” before they happen.

They also get into the difference between someone helping with a task and actually taking ownership of it, why routines can make sharing the load easier, and why being exhausted does not mean you’re failing.

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CHAPTERS
00:00 Welcome to Sip & Stim
05:23 “Chaos Coordinator” Doesn’t Even Cover It
08:32 When Appointments Take Over the Week
11:05 Getting Home Doesn’t Mean You’re Done
13:00 Sometimes You Never Really Get to Turn Off
17:11 What Support at Home Can Actually Look Like
20:02 Even a Simple Outing Can Require a Plan
22:36 Planning for the What-Ifs
24:07 Why Family Outings Take So Much Preparation
27:34 Vacations, Backup Plans and Everything You Have to Remember
29:19 A New Place Can Mean Starting From Scratch
33:16 Becoming the Default Information Keeper
35:45 Helping vs. Actually Owning the Task
38:27 Why Routines Can Make Sharing the Load Easier
39:33 Being Exhausted Doesn’t Mean You’re Failing
40:26 Coming Next on Sip & Stim

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Welcome to where parenting on the spectrum pairs best with caffeine, coping skills, and stims.

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CREDITS

Hosts:
Toni Toole: LinkedIn
Kate Martin: LinkedIn

Producer:
Mike Axe: LinkedIn

Editor:
Derek Kedell: LinkedIn

Theme Song From:
Derek Martin: LinkedIn