It's one thing to feel your feelings and quite another to have them rule you.

1. When I was drinking and using, I was ruled by my emotions. I had no filter, no guidance.
2. I bounced between fear and desire. I was afraid of many things: fear of looking bad of being rejected, of not being cool, of losing my job (I was fired three times before I woke up), afraid of permanent insanity, of being broke (I was broke a lot). Name a fear, and I had it.
3. Fear manifests itself in several different ways: anxieties from mild to severe, but always anxious, nightmares, obsessions, depression, anger (provoke by fear). Fear of losing something that I valued or fear of not getting what I want.
4. FEAR is an acronym for F... Everything And Run, or: False Evidence Appearing Real.
5. Then there’s the flip side: being ruled by desire, by a craving and wanting and longing for escape from reality, for getting and staying high or drunk or both, for sex, for recognition (the ego stroke), for looking cool, for having the nicest car, or clothes, or the best-looking girlfriend. All superficial stuff.
6. It wasn’t until I started living by a set of principles as taught by AA that I finally came to a serene place, no longer ruled by fear or desire. No longer ruled purely by emotion. I let the principles of honesty and kindness, and courage rule my life.
7. FEAR now stood for its antidote: Face Everything And Recover.

One of the things we talk about in our recovery is the idea of “one day at a time”. This is a greater challenge for many in early recovery than it appears. While in treatment, we were kept very busy, and we were super-focused on what we needed to do that day.

1. Once treatment is over, or for those who just came in the from the cold without treatment, you need to be conscious of the importance of the “daily reprieve” because that is all you ever get.
2. I once told a guy I was sponsoring that he could stay sober forever if he stayed sober today. He says: “Why is that boss?” I said that he could stay sober forever because it’s always today. It is not yesterday or tomorrow. It’s today. The eternal Now. The reprieve is just for today, not for tomorrow.
3. Therefore, it becomes important that those just starting out by creating a daily schedule – I call it a personalized set of rituals – that keeps you on track every day.
4. An example that works for many, me included, is to start the day with the 3d and 7th step prayer, followed by a reading of the Daily Reflection. I like to read the “On awakening” section on page 86-88 of the Big Book to get my head further into the game.
5. Attending a 12-step meeting (in my case, it’s AA) several times a week is critical. That’s where Fellowship comes in. That’s where you can share freely, make true friends and learn how others work the program. It cures loneliness and isolation, one of the main enemies of recovery.
6. Then there is reading something from the literature every day. If you're new to AA, start at the beginning and read the first 164 pages of the Big Book. Then read them over again a few times. Take a look at the inside the front cover of the Big Book. There is a list of great literature which you can order from www.aa.org
7. It’s important that you stay in touch with your sponsor who will help guide you through the days and weeks. Work with him or her to create your daily and weekly plan. Your sponsor will help you build a solid foundation for life, one day at a time.

I asked a wise man in my program his definition of his life's purpose, and he said: “My goal is to stay sober every day of my life, taking one day at a time, and that’s how I’ll make my sobriety permanent.” There’s magic in living one day, one moment at a time.

1. Your anxiety evaporates when you understand that the future does not really exist, that it’s just an idea in your mind, and you do not have to live there. "Fear is the price you pay to trespass into the future” is an old AA saying.
2. Your emotions get all riled up when you start to see the future as a real thing. Mark Twain, American writer and philosopher famously said: “I have experienced many terrible things, most of which have never happened. “
3. The past is another place you don’t want to live in, or dwell on. My counsellor in early recovery told me: “It’s OK to play the videotape, just don’t stare at it. It isn’t going to change, anyway”.
4. Until you reconcile with the truth of what you did to yourself and others as you work the 12 Steps, the past will likely haunt you with resentments, regrets, shame and hurt. That’s why a) it’s best to stay in today, in the moment and b) get into your recovery and be fearless and thorough from the very start.