In this episode, James and Lisa dive into the Five Mindset Killers that can quietly sabotage your marriage—distortion, discouragement, doubt, distraction, and division. Based on John Gordon’s framework, they unpack how these "5 Ds" show up in real relationships and what to do when they start pulling you into emotional and spiritual drift. Learn how to recognize the signs early, interrupt the cycle, and reset your mindset through presence, unity, and the life-giving power of gratitude. Plus, hear about The Collective—a brand new way to grow your marriage in rhythm all year long!

What You'll Learn / Key Points:

• The Five D’s that pull your mindset—and marriage—into unhealthy patterns:
  • Distortion (twisted perceptions)
  • Discouragement (emotional drain)
  • Doubt (relational uncertainty)
  • Distraction (emotional avoidance)
  • Division (emotional disconnection)
• How to interrupt the downward spiral and reset your mindset before disconnection sets in.
• Real-life examples from James & Lisa’s marriage—like the “pillow on the floor” moment—and how catching distortion can shift the whole tone.
• What each “D” needs to be healed:
  • Clarity for distortion
  • Encouragement for discouragement
  • Truth for doubt
  • Presence for distraction
  • Unity for division
• Why gratitude is the ultimate mindset reset and the secret weapon to reframe even hard seasons.
• A sneak peek at The Collective, their new year-round community to help couples grow together in rhythm.

Links & Resources:

• 🌱 Join The Collective: aos-collective.com — Join as a Founding Member!

• 🎧 Previous Episodes Mentioned:
  • Ep. 71: Hummingbirds, Vultures, and the Mindset That Can Change Your Marriage
  • Ep. 41: The Lost Art of Gratitude in Marriage: An Essential Tool for a Thriving Relationship
  • Ep. 2 Shifting Gears for Communication

• 5 Voices:
• Take a FREE 5 Voices Assessment
• 5 Voices for Marriage Course

Connect with Us:

• Instagram: @artofspousing
• Website: www.artofspousing.com

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