Welcome to Beneath the Scars with Zoe. Today, I want to invite you on a very different kind of journey, one that doesn’t ask you to be stronger, do more or find all the answers. Instead, I want you to give yourself permission to slow down, turn inward and reconnect with the little girl or little boy you once were.

Have you ever wondered what it might feel like to sit across from your younger self and have a conversation with that child? What would you say to them? What would you want them to understand? Would you ask them what they needed, what frightened them, what made them happy or what they wished somebody had noticed? And perhaps, somewhere in that conversation, you might discover that the child you remember is still a part of you today, not as somebody you need to fix, but as a part of your story that deserves kindness, understanding and love.

In this guided meditation, I’ll gently lead you through a process of settling your breathing, relaxing your body and imagining yourself in a peaceful forest. From there, we’ll explore the possibility of meeting your younger self, listening without judgement and offering the reassurance, tenderness and compassion that every child deserves. We’ll make space for the feelings that arise, whether that’s sadness, happiness, uncertainty or simply quiet reflection. You won’t be asked to relive painful memories, and you never have to force yourself to feel something that isn’t there.

Before we settle in, I want to offer a gentle reminder. If you experience difficulties with your breathing or have a respiratory condition such as COPD or bronchopulmonary dysplasia, or an anxiety or panic disorder that may be affected by breath-focused exercises, please check with your healthcare professional to make sure this meditation is suitable for you. Gentle breathing can be helpful for some people, but everybody’s needs are different. Please don’t force your breath or hold it if it feels uncomfortable. If you feel dizzy, breathless or more anxious, return to your natural breathing, open your eyes if you wish and stop whenever you need to. You are always in control of your experience, and your comfort comes first.

We’ll also spend time practising something so many of us find difficult: giving ourselves a hug, allowing ourselves to rest and speaking to ourselves with the same kindness we might offer someone we love. Because sometimes, the person we’ve been waiting to hear those words from is the person we can begin learning to care for ourselves.

You don’t need any experience with meditation. All you need is somewhere comfortable to sit or lie down, a soft blanket if you have one, and a little time for yourself. You can keep your eyes open whenever you need to, move around or stop at any point. This is your experience, and you are always in control.

So, take a little time for yourself. Put down what you can, let the outside world wait for a while, and give yourself permission to simply be here. You don’t have to forgive anybody today. You don’t have to understand everything that happened in your life. You don’t have to emerge from this meditation as a completely different person.

Perhaps all you need to do is listen. Perhaps all you need to do is remember. And perhaps, for a few moments, you can offer yourself the love and tenderness you may have spent years searching for elsewhere.

This is Beneath the Scars with Zoe. Let’s begin our journey inward, meet the child we once were, and remember that healing can begin with something as simple and beautiful as learning to hold ourselves with love.

Have you ever been told to take a deep breath when you’re stressed, anxious or overwhelmed, but nobody has really explained why it might help? What if something you do every single day, without even thinking about it, could become one of the simplest tools for helping you manage stress and reconnect with yourself?

Welcome to Beneath the Scars with Zoe. In this special educational recording, I’m taking a deeper look at the science behind breath-work and exploring what actually happens inside our bodies when we consciously change the way we breathe. We’ll look at the nervous system, the body’s natural stress response, the relationship between breathing and heart rate, and what scientific research has discovered about slow, controlled breathing. I’ll also explain why breathwork can be such a valuable part of meditation, how counting our breaths can help us focus on the present moment, and why learning to slow down can be an important part of caring for ourselves.

This isn’t about promising that a few breaths will heal every wound or make every difficult feeling disappear. It’s about understanding our bodies, learning how we respond to stress and discovering practical ways to give ourselves a little more space when life feels overwhelming. I’ll share research and reputable resources so you can explore the evidence for yourself, understand what has been demonstrated and recognise where more research is still needed.

My hope is that, by the end of this recording, you’ll understand not just how to practise breathwork, but why it may help, how to approach it gently and how to begin incorporating it into your everyday life. Because sometimes, before we can sit quietly with ourselves, explore our emotions or reconnect with the parts of us that need love, we first need to give ourselves permission to pause.

This is Beneath the Scars with Zoe. Let’s take a closer look at the science of something we do every day, and discover how a little more awareness of our breathing might help us find moments of calm in a busy world.

Research and references:

These links can go in the episode description or accompanying show notes, so listeners can read the original research rather than relying solely on the explanation in the recording.

Shao, Man and Lee (2024) — The Effect of Slow-Paced Breathing on Cardiovascular and Emotion Functions: A Meta-Analysis and Systematic Review⁠. This review examined 31 studies involving 1,133 participants and found short-term improvements in several cardiovascular measures, while evidence for emotional benefits was more modest.

Balban et al. (2023) — Brief structured respiration practices enhance mood and reduce physiological arousal⁠. This randomised controlled study compared brief daily breathing exercises with mindfulness meditation over one month.

National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health (NCCIH) — Relaxation Techniques: What You Need to Know⁠. A reputable overview of relaxation responses, breathing exercises, potential benefits and safety considerations.

NCCIH — 5 Things To Know About Relaxation Techniques for Stress⁠. A useful introduction to how relaxation practices may influence the body's response to stress.

What happens when the man who would have you blocking his number, changing your locks and calling your mates for backup becomes the very man you can’t stop reading about?

Welcome to the deliciously dark world of dark romance, where obsession, forbidden desire, morally grey men and seriously questionable behaviour have readers hooked. But what’s really going on beneath the surface? Is it the danger, the power, the fantasy of being desperately wanted, or something a little more complicated?

In this episode, we’re exploring the explosive popularity of dark romance, the authors pushing its boundaries, and the psychology behind our fascination with fictional men who would be walking red flags in real life. We’ll get into BDSM, dominance and submission, tantric intimacy, consent, coercive control, and why surrendering power by choice is very different from having it taken away.

We’ll also look at academic research into how readers engage with dark romance, including work published in Porn Studies in 2026 examining sexual power dynamics, arousal and the distinction between fictional fantasy and real-world preferences.

Because enjoying a dark fantasy doesn’t automatically mean you want to live it. But understanding where fantasy ends and reality begins? That’s a conversation worth having.

So grab your favourite drink, get comfortable, and let’s talk about sex, power, obsession and the dangerously seductive world of dark romance.

Because sometimes the biggest red flags are the ones we can’t stop turning the pages for.

This episode explores adult themes, including BDSM, stalking-themed fiction, sexual power dynamics, coercive control and consent.

Research and further reading

• Circana BookScan — romance publishing and sales trends: https://www.circana.com/
• Mel Monier, Reading the dark romance: exploring audience engagement with sexual power dynamics in dark romance novels, Porn Studies (2026): https://doi.org/10.1080/23268743.2026.2665166
• Porn Studies — research on dark romance, consent and reader engagement: https://doi.org/10.1080/23268743.2025.2586593
• Dunkley and Brotto, The Role of Consent in the Context of BDSM: https://doi.org/10.1177/1079063219842847

Beneath the Scars with Zoe — honest conversations, uncomfortable questions, and everything worth exploring beneath the surface.

Welcome to Beneath the Scars with Zoe — where the conversations are honest, the humour is a little filthy, the healing goes deep, and absolutely nothing is off the table.

I’m Zoe Hethershaw — author, holistic health practitioner, survivor, truth-teller, and a woman who’s lived enough life to know that sometimes you have to laugh so you don’t bloody scream.

We’re talking love, lust, sex, relationships, trauma, healing, dating disasters, and all the wonderfully messy things that make us human. We’ll dig beneath the scars, challenge the bullshit, question what we’ve been taught, and have the conversations people whisper about but rarely dare to say out loud.

There’ll be a little wisdom, a lot of honesty, a healthy dose of sarcasm, and absolutely no pretending we’ve got our shit together when we haven’t.

So, whether you’re healing a broken heart, rediscovering your sexuality, navigating the dating jungle, or simply wondering what the actual fuck happened to the world…

You’re in the right place.

Pour yourself a drink, make yourself comfortable, and buckle up, darling.

This is Beneath the Scars with Zoe.

We’re going beneath the surface, beyond the bullshit, and straight to the truth.

Because life is too short for fake smiles, mediocre sex, emotionally unavailable men, and pretending we’re fine when we’re absolutely fucking not.

Let’s talk about it.

Content Warning: This episode discusses suicide, depression, anxiety, trauma, spousal abuse and other difficult life experiences. Some of the topics may be distressing for listeners. Please take care of yourself while listening, and feel free to pause or step away whenever you need to.

What happens when the battles we’re fighting on the inside are the ones nobody else can see?

In this episode of Beneath the Scars with Zoe, I’m joined by the wonderful Adam Le Grand, an SEN Facilitator with 20 years of lived experience, who is passionate about getting one important message out into the world: we need to talk about mental health.

Adam is a genuinely lovely guy with a desire to make a difference, break down the stigma surrounding mental health, and encourage people to have the conversations that are often left unspoken. Because depression and anxiety aren’t things we should have to hide, feel ashamed of, or struggle through in silence.

Together, we talk about the realities of mental health, the impact of trauma, the struggles people carry behind closed doors, and why creating space for honest conversations matters so much. We also explore the difficult subjects that affect people’s lives, relationships and families, including suicide and spousal abuse.

This isn’t about pretending that life is easy or that a few positive words can fix everything. It’s about recognising that people are human, that struggles deserve to be heard, and that asking for help should never be something we’re ashamed of.

I’m a firm believer that we need more honesty, more understanding and fewer assumptions about what someone else might be going through. Sometimes, simply knowing that somebody is willing to listen can make a difference.

Adam, thank you for being willing to speak openly about these subjects and for wanting to help bring conversations about mental health into the light.

Because here on Beneath the Scars, we know that there’s always more to someone’s story than what we see on the surface.

Listen in, join the conversation, and remember: you don’t have to pretend you’re okay to deserve support.

Trigger warning: This episode discusses domestic violence, emotional, physical, mental and financial abuse, betrayal, infidelity, and the lasting effects of trauma. Please take care of yourself while listening.

Welcome back to Beneath the Scars with Zoe.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and today’s episode comes straight from my heart.

This is for the woman who has forgotten her own worth. For the person who has been made to question their reality, their value, their sanity, and even their reflection in the mirror. For the survivor who is still trying to understand how someone who claimed to love them could cause so much pain.

And it’s for those who are still living in it, those who have left, and those who are trying to find their way back to themselves.

I know what it feels like to lose pieces of yourself trying to keep someone else happy. I know how abuse can creep into your life until you barely recognise the person staring back at you. And I know that leaving isn’t always simple. Sometimes survival means staying until you have the strength, the resources, or the opportunity to go.

So let me make one thing very clear: I will never blame you for what someone else chose to do to you.

But I will remind you that your trauma does not have to define the rest of your life. What happened to you matters, but so does what happens next. We can acknowledge our wounds without using them as an excuse to wound others.

Today, we’re talking about hope, healing, self-worth, accountability, and learning to see yourself with compassion again.

Because you are not weak for what you endured. You are not foolish for loving someone. You are not worthless because someone betrayed you. And you are not broken beyond repair.

If you’re listening today and you need someone to talk to, to vent to, or even to scream and shout because you’ve held it together for far too long, you can reach out to me through ZoeHethershaw.com.

You don’t have to pretend you’re okay here.

This is Beneath the Scars with Zoe.

And today’s message is simple, but I hope you carry it with you long after this episode ends:

You are more than what you survived, hope is never lost.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses domestic violence, coercive control, emotional abuse, fear, trauma and the psychological effects of living in an unsafe relationship. Please listen when you feel ready, and take care of yourself if anything feels overwhelming.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and this is Part Two of our conversation about power, control, fear and survival. In this episode of Beneath the Scars with Zoe, we explore the science of the brain’s threat response, hypervigilance, learned helplessness and the lasting effects of living with fear.

Drawing on research into uncontrollable stress, coercive control and mental health, we look at why people may become quiet, lose confidence in themselves or struggle to leave harmful relationships. We explore what can happen when survival becomes so familiar that you begin to forget what feeling safe, free and truly yourself feels like.

But this episode is about more than the science. It is about the people living behind closed doors, the survivors finding their way back to themselves, and those who are still trying to find the strength to take their next step.

As someone who has survived abuse myself, I know that rebuilding your life is not always quick, simple or straightforward. Sometimes, keeping going means taking one small step at a time. Sometimes, it means asking for help. And sometimes, it means simply making it through another day until you can see a way forward.

If you are still in the middle of it, please hear this: you are not weak because you are struggling. You are not to blame for someone else’s choice to hurt or control you. And your story is not over. You deserve safety, kindness, dignity and a life in which you no longer have to live on high alert just to get through the day.

Staying does not mean you are unharmed. Silence does not mean you are fine. And leaving is not the only measure of courage. Whatever stage of your journey you are in, you deserve support, and you deserve the opportunity to find yourself again.

This October, for Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we honour the survivors, remember those we have lost, and stand beside those who are still searching for a way forward. You do not have to have everything figured out today. Keep going, one safe step at a time. There is a life beyond survival, and you deserve the chance to live it.

Research References

• Maier, S. F., & Seligman, M. E. P. (2016). Learned Helplessness at Fifty: Insights from Neuroscience. Psychological Review. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4920136/
• Lohmann, S., et al. The Trauma and Mental Health Impacts of Coercive Control: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10666508/

I Loved You, But I Chose Me: When Power Changes the Way We Treat People

Why do people hurt the people they claim to love? In Episode 25 of Beneath the Scars with Zoe, we explore the psychology of power, control, empathy and what happens when someone begins to believe their needs matter more than another person’s feelings. Drawing on psychological research, we look at how power can influence perspective-taking and compassion, why harmful behaviour develops, and the difference between understanding someone’s past and excusing their actions. Because we don’t need to label someone a monster to recognise that their behaviour is hurting us. Sometimes, choosing yourself begins with accepting that love alone isn’t enough.

Research references

• Galinsky, A. D., Magee, J. C., Inesi, M. E., & Gruenfeld, D. H. (2006). Power and Perspectives Not Taken. Psychological Science. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2006.01824.x

• van Kleef, G. A., et al. (2008). Power, Distress, and Compassion: Turning a Blind Eye to the Suffering of Others. Psychological Science. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2008.02241.x