Today we're going to talk about something that sounds more mysterious than what's actually inside a gas station hot dog: quantum computing.

Let me guess. When you hear "quantum computing," you think of some tech wizardry that only scientists who never left their basement understand, right? It's like when your uncle says his phone "has quantum" because sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

Well, I have news: quantum computing is NOT magic. It won't make your phone faster. And it definitely isn't what makes your WiFi drop right when you're about to win in Call of Duty.

But it IS something fascinating that's changing the world while you and I debate whether pineapple belongs on pizza. Spoiler: it does, fight me.

So get comfortable, pour yourself some coffee, and get ready because today we're going to understand what the heck quantum computing is, without using a single mathematical equation.

Imagine you’re walking through Central Park on a peaceful Sunday afternoon. Suddenly, you see a group of teenagers hanging out by a bench. They look normal enough, right? But instead of selling candy bars for their school fundraiser or washing cars, they’re recruiting for something far darker. They’re like Jehovah’s Witnesses, except instead of wanting to save your soul, they want to completely destroy it.

That’s the internet in 2026, my dear netizens. Except the bench is Discord, Telegram, or 4chan, and those kids aren’t in Central Park. they’re in a basement in Wisconsin, Tijuana, or Moscow.

Today we’re going to dive, carefully and with industrial-grade latex gloves, into the world of the most dangerous groups on the internet. And I’m not talking about anti-vaxxers or flat-earthers. I’m talking about digital criminal organizations that do things so disturbing I won’t even mention them in this cold open.

Ready? Perfect. Because after this episode, you’re going to want to check your kids’ phones with the same frequency you check if you locked your front door.

In the very early the morning of January 2nd, the United States decided that Venezuela needed an “administration change.” And when I say “administration change,” I mean they sent 150 aircraft, a carrier, 3 Delta Force teams and captured President Nicolas Maduro and his wife, and basically said: “We’re running this country now.”

Now, you might be wondering: “Dr. Qubit, what does this have to do with cybersecurity? I came here to learn how to protect my iPhone photos, not to listen to geopolitics.”

Well, let me tell you something, my dear digitally naive friend. This has EVERYTHING to do with cybersecurity. Because when a country gets militarily invaded in 2026, it’s not just bombs that rain down. Hackers rain down too. And I’m not talking about hoodie-wearing kids in basements. I’m talking about digital armies from Russia, China, and Iran who are right now sharpening their keyboards like they’re samurai swords.