I come bearing unwanted and confusing gifts! This is a Miniature Episode, I could say minisode, but I'm not going to.

I'm offering up two beautiful, definitely not suspicious romance novel suggestions for when you're too cold and tired from lack of sunlight - so you (I) eat noodles in bed, and then you (me again) answer questions in the advice subreddit. You (looking at myself in a mirror) tell a lot of teenage girls to dump their boyfriends. dump his ass! the world's ending! get a boyfriend with a motorcycle and a mustache who's named Viper or something.

The first one is The Conqueror by Brenda Joyce. It's an actual top 5 favorite of mine, though you wouldn't know it because every time I crack open my copy, I hiss like I can feel a curse entering my body. All I can say is if you can hang in there for the payoff, it's worth it. But like I'm saying that as someone who craves schadenfreude :)

And the second one is the antithesis of the former recommendation - it's Games of the Heart by Kristen Ashley. Did you ever see a cool older girl growing up, and you were like, "Holy shit, I can only dream of being that cool someday." And hey you did turn out pretty cool, not like really cool. It would help if you (ME) stopped telling everyone how many goddamn romance novels you read?! But I digress, the main character, Dusty Holliday, is rad as fuck.

Anyway, walk around your neighborhood, and get some sunlight, and if you need a break from society crumbling around you, these are two solid recs. Maybe also make a bugout bag, though. Do you know where your important papers are? Okay, go find those real quick, and then you can break from reality.