Why Do People Cheat? — Betrayal Trauma, Psychology & the Brain

In this episode of Becoming Her, Unfiltered, I share my personal experience with infidelity and betrayal, and break down why cheating happens through psychology and neuroscience. We explore how betrayal affects the brain, why self-blame shows up.

This episode is not about excusing cheating.

It’s about understanding betrayal so you can stop internalizing it and begin healing

If you’ve ever asked “Why wasn’t I enough?” or “How did I not know?” — this episode is for you.

🌿 Affirmations for Healing After Cheating

• ​Their cheating is not a reflection of my worth.
• ​I am not responsible for someone else’s lack of integrity.
• ​My intuition was not wrong — it was clouded by manipulation.
• ​My nervous system is healing, not failing.
• ​I release the need to replay what I cannot change.
• ​I choose emotional safety and self-respect.
• ​This experience will not define me — my healing will.

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Episode #4 — Why I Wasn’t Enough?

Anxious Attachment & Rewriting the Brain

In this episode, I explore one of the most painful questions many of us ask in love:

“Why wasn’t I enough?”

This episode unfolds in three parts:

My Story

I share what it felt like inside a relationship where safety slowly disappeared — noticing the shift, trying harder and over giving.

Psychology & Neuroscience

We gently unpack what was happening inside the brain and nervous system during anxious attachment, including:

• The amygdala — the brain’s threat detector that reads emotional distance as danger

• Dopamine — the chemical of reward and relief that strengthens attachment to inconsistent love

• Cortisol — the stress hormone that drives panic, waiting, and overthinking

• And why the nervous system often chooses connection over self-protection

Healing & Affirmations

We close with grounding tools, a short self-reflection exercise, and affirmations to begin rewriting the belief that you are “not enough.”

🧠 Affirmations from today’s episode:

I am not hard to love

I do not need to earn safety

I can feel anxious without acting from it

Someone else’s inconsistency is not proof of my inadequacy

I choose calm over chaos

Core reminder of this episode:

You were never not enough.

You were just asking the wrong person to meet you where you already stood.

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After a breakup, your mind starts replaying the good moments.

The laughs. The warmth. The version of them that felt safe.

And suddenly, you’re questioning everything.

In this episode of Becoming Her, Unfiltered, I break down The Breadcrumb Effect — why your brain romanticizes the past after a breakup and why missing someone doesn’t mean you should go back.

I also share my own story — how I gave in to the breadcrumb effect, and how it ended up hurting me. Understanding what was happening in my brain helped me stop shaming myself, stop repeating the cycle, and start choosing myself.

Stage Affirmation (save this):

“This feeling is chemistry, not clarity.

My brain is grieving — not guiding.

Missing moments does not erase patterns.

I can pause without reacting.”

We’re talking real neuroscience, explained in a human way:

• Why your brain feeds you highlight reels

• How dopamine drives the urge to reach out

• Why uncertainty feels unbearable

• And how your nervous system confuses chemistry with clarity

This episode is for the woman who knows better but still feels pulled.

For the one who misses moments — not patterns.

For the one learning how to pause instead of spiraling.

You’re not weak.

You’re not confused.

You’re human.

And once you understand what your brain is doing, you stop shaming yourself — and start choosing yourself.

🎙 New episodes every Thursday

✨ Follow for honest conversations about healing, growth, motherhood, and becoming her — unfiltered