Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling — they show up in every relationship at some point. In this episode, Angela breaks down what these “Four Horsemen” actually look and sound like in everyday life, why they happen, and the small, simple shifts couples can make to create more connection and less conflict. This is a practical, judgment-free guide to recognizing harmful patterns early and choosing healthier communication that feels good for both partners.

Relationship Reset Challenge

Choose one Horseman you fall into most often and practice its antidote every day for the next week:

• Criticism → Gentle startup
• Contempt → One daily appreciation
• Defensiveness → Own 2%
• Stonewalling → Take a break with a return time

Resources Mentioned

• John & Julie Gottman – The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
• Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com

Connect with Us

If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips.

Presented by: Angela Kingma

Edited by: Tayte McHugh

In this episode, Angela explores how just five intentional hours a week can transform your relationship. Drawing from the Gottman Method and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), she shares how to build daily rituals of connection that strengthen trust, friendship, and emotional safety. Discover how small, consistent habits can rekindle closeness — no grand gestures required.

Relationship Reset Challenge

Create your own 5-Hour Love Plan this week. Ask each other:

• What’s one ritual we can add in the morning?
• What does a comforting reunion look like for us?
• How can we bring back a little fun or play?
• When can we schedule a weekly check-in?

Remember — it’s not about perfection; it’s about presence.

Resources Mentioned

• John & Julie Gottman – The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
• Dr. Sue Johnson – Hold Me Tight (EFT framework for emotional connection)
• Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com

Connect with Us

If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips.

Presented by: Angela Kingma

Edited by: Tayte McHugh

Season 1: Foundations of Connection

Title: Spotting the Tiny Moments that Build Love

Bids for connection are the tiny invitations we send our partner every day — a glance, a sigh, a question, a playful comment. In this episode, Angela explains how recognizing and responding to those small moments can transform the emotional climate of a relationship.

Drawing from Gottman Method research and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), you’ll learn how to identify bids, understand the attachment needs beneath them, and turn toward your partner in ways that build lasting safety, trust, and laughter.

Relationship Reset Challenge

This week, catch two bids a day and respond. Pause before defaulting to distraction, and intentionally turn toward instead. Before bed, reflect together:

“When did we connect today?” “When did we miss each other’s bids?”

Resources Mentioned

• John & Julie Gottman, The Relationship Cure — definitive guide to bids for connection.
• Dr. Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight — Emotion-Focused Therapy for couples.
• Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com

Connect with Us

If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend who could use a little reminder that love grows in tiny moments. Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips.

Presented by Angela Kingma

Edited by Tayte McHugh