You saw a video on Instagram that sounded like someone describing your life. Now you're lying awake at three in the morning wondering if you're actually Autistic or ADHD. Or are you just looking for an excuse? In this episode, Leah walks through what ADHD and Autism actually look like in adults. Not just the stereotypes of hyperactive boys or non-speaking children. The real lived experience. The signs that get missed. How to start figuring out if this might be you.

In This Episode:

Opening: The Three AM QuestionLying awake wondering if that Instagram video was describing your life. Am I actually Autistic? Do I really have ADHD? Or am I just not trying hard enough?

Introduction: Welcome to Lazy, Messy, WeirdWhat this podcast is about and who it's for. Today we're exploring what ADHD and Autism actually look like in adults. The signs that get missed. How to start figuring out if this might be you.

Adult ADHD: What It Actually Looks LikeNot just hyperactive boys bouncing off walls. The DSM-5 criteria explained. Two types: inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive. Executive function struggles. How masking hides difficulties. The elaborate systems you built to compensate are proof of struggle, not proof you're fine. ADHD brains are motivated by interest, not importance. Hyperfocus: the flip side of distraction. Rejection sensitivity dysphoria. ADHD strengths: creativity, problem solving, thriving in crisis.

Adult Autism: What It Actually Looks LikeNot just non-speaking children obsessed with trains. The DSM-5 criteria developed by observing white boys. How masking hides Autistic traits, particularly in women. Why so many people are both ADHD and Autistic. Social communication differences. Monotropism: focusing deeply on one thing at a time. Stimming for self-regulation. Need for sameness and routine. Special interests as sources of joy. Sensory sensitivities. Masking: camouflaging your true self to fit in. Masking is exhausting. Autistic burnout. Autistic strengths: attention to detail, pattern recognition, deep focus, strong principles.

Other Neurotypes: A Brief OverviewDyspraxia, Dyslexia, Dyscalculia, Dysgraphia.

Now What? Practical Next StepsStay curious and notice patterns. Make notes of what resonates. Try self-assessment tools. Learn more through other people's stories. Trust yourself. Recognition is the first step. You don't need diagnosis to start understanding yourself better.

Closing: What's NextNext episode features Sarah Clein, a public sector leader turned coach for knackered women. How hearing the words 'lazy, messy, weird' in a presentation I gave last year catalysed her journey to diagnosis.

Key Takeaways:

• ADHD in adults doesn't just look like hyperactive boys. Inattentive type affects focus and organisation. Hyperactive-impulsive type affects restlessness and emotional regulation
• The DSM-5 criteria miss how masking hides neurodivergent traits, particularly in women
• Elaborate systems and over-compensation are proof of struggle, not proof you're fine
• Autism isn't just about being obsessed with trains. It's about differences in social communication, intense interests, need for routine and sensory sensitivities
• Masking is exhausting. Many people look fine in public but collapse at home
• AuDHD is common among people diagnosed in adulthood
• Recognition is the first step. You don't need formal diagnosis to start understanding yourself better

Resources:

• Sign up to get show notes: https://subscribepage.io/jk30pY
• Book a free intro call: https://calendly.com/leahmilnercampbell/30min
• More info: https://leahmilnercampbell.co.uk

About the Host:Leah Milner-Campbell is a former charity CEO and neuroinclusion specialist. She's Autistic, ADHD, Dyscalculic and Dyspraxic, and works with purpose-driven organisations to understand and support neurodivergent leaders and staff.