Why does ADHD so often stay hidden in girls until puberty, and how can parents tell whether it’s “just hormones” or something more?

Why does ADHD so often go unrecognised in girls until adolescence, why can puberty make previously manageable difficulties harder to navigate, and how can parents tell whether it’s “just hormones” or something more?

In the first two-guest episode of All Aboard ADHD, Claire is joined by Dr Sally Cubbin, Consultant Psychiatrist and Founding Member of the UK Adult ADHD Network, alongside Gillian Johnson Shakespeare, Author, Illustrator and ADHD Coach, co-authors of the newly published Women and ADHD book. Together they explore how adolescence shapes girls’ sense of identity, their friendships, their changing bodies and the expectations they absorb about who they’re supposed to be.

They discuss:

🔍 Why girls get missed: a picture built around boys, and the MOPP cluster of masking, overcompensating, perfectionism and people-pleasing As Sally puts it, “the absence of an obvious problem or an obvious difference doesn’t mean there’s an absence of ADHD.”

🌊 What puberty changes: oestrogen and dopamine, irregular cycles, disrupted sleep and developing at a different pace from friends

🏠 Fine at school, falling apart at home: why girls can appear to be coping at school but fall apart as soon as they get home

🎭 The cost of masking: how years of trying to fit in can affect identity and self-esteem leaving you feeling “invisible to oneself”

👭 Friendships, fitting in and rejection sensitivity: why finding friends you can be yourself with matters so much

⚠️ Shame and hidden risks: internalised criticism, greater vulnerability around boundaries, alcohol and disordered eating, and why assessments must consider the whole person.

💡 Diagnosis as a turning point: relief, sometimes grief, and finally an explanation.

🤝 How parents can help: keep scaffolding, swap “why isn’t the homework done” for curiosity, choose your moments to talk (such as long car journeys), co-regulate, and permission to “cope ugly”.

Puberty can be a challenging time for any girl, but for girls with ADHD, it can bring additional difficulties that aren't always easy to recognise or understand.

This conversation explores what parents can look out for, and how we can better support our daughters through these important years, with curiosity rather than judgement.

Further resources & links

• Women and ADHD by Dr Sally Cubbin & Gillian Johnson Shakespeare: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Women-ADHD-Puberty-Menopause-Beyond/dp/147214982

• Dr Sally Cubbin: https://adhdclinic.co.uk/dr-sally-cubbin/

• Gillian Johnson Shakespeare: https://adhdclinic.co.uk/coaching-and-books/gillianshakespeare/

• ADHD Coaching and Resources from Claire: https://allaboardadhd.com

• Follow Claire on Instagram & TikTok: @allaboardADHD

The views shared in this episode are those of the guest, based on their professional expertise and personal experience. This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, educational, or psychological advice. Please consult a qualified professional for personalised support relevant to your individual circumstances.

How does growing up with undiagnosed ADHD shape your life and what happens when you finally get answers?

In this episode of All Aboard ADHD, Claire is joined by Laura Mears-Reynolds, diagnosed with ADHD at 38, host of the ADHD AF podcast and founder of the ADHD AF Plus charity.

Laura tells her story of shame, burnout and survival, sharing how her fierce sense of justice led her to build a grassroots movement providing real-life peer support for adults with ADHD across the UK.

🧶 The penny-drop moment: how a friend's diagnosis shattered the “naughty little boys” stereotype, prompting Laura to recognise her own ADHD traits and realise: “If you’ve got it, I’ve definitely got it”.

🔥 From chaos to “dumpster fire”: perimenopause, three-year waiting lists, escalating crises and the devastating point where Laura felt “I was done”.

💊 Diagnosis and the day after: being told she had “severe combined” ADHD and waking up the following morning with a glimmer of hope, realising, “I don’t have to hate myself today”.

👧 Childhood through an ADHD lens: constant anxiety, rejection sensitivity (RSD), insomnia and being labelled “disrespectful” for leaving GCSE coursework until the last minute, despite agonising over it all night.

🎭 Girls, masking and minimising: how gender expectations, people-pleasing and trying not to be “a nuisance” can contribute to ADHD going unrecognised in girls and women.

⚖️ Justice sensitivity and ADHD: why Laura challenges the idea that ADHD is a “superpower”, exploring how her fierce need for justice has both challenged her, and fuelled her advocacy for others.

🐆 Building ADHD AF and the Leopard Print Army: from responding to podcast DMs at 4am to creating a community through body doubling, national meet-ups and the ADHD AF Plus charity, which now provides over 17 free peer support groups across the UK. As Laura puts it, “It’s about us, by us, for us”.

Laura's honesty about the challenges of living with undiagnosed ADHD, the impact of shame and the power of finding community, provides a conversation about reframing how we understand ourselves, finding hope and recognising that we don't have to navigate the ADHD journey alone.

If you’ve ever felt “too much” or like you’re failing at “adulting”, this episode will help you see yourself, and your children, through a more compassionate lens.

Further resources & links:

• ADHD AF Community Information: https://www.adhdafplus.org.uk/peersupport

• Sponsor Laura’s Skydive on 3rd October 2026: https://givestar.io/gs/skydiving-13000-ft-for-adhdaf-adhdadultuk

• ADHD AF Plus Charity and Local Peer Support Groups: https://adhdafplus.org.uk

• ADHD AF Day - paint the internet leopard print 🐆each year on 23 October for #ADHDAFDay: https://www.adhdafplus.org.uk/roar

• Follow Laura on Instagram: @lauraisadhdaf / @adhdafpodcast / @adhdafplus

• All Aboard ADHD Coaching and Resources from Claire: https://allaboardadhd.com

• Follow Claire on Instagram & TikTok: @allaboardADHD

The views shared in this episode are those of the guest, based on their professional expertise and personal experience. This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, educational, or psychological advice. Please consult a qualified professional for personalised support relevant to your individual circumstances.

How can parents and caregivers better understand and support the biological sleep needs of children and teens who have ADHD, without panic, shame, or setting impossible “perfect sleep” standards?

In this episode of All Aboard ADHD, Claire is joined by UKCP-accredited psychotherapist Heather Darwall-Smith, an ADHD sleep specialist and author of The ADHD Sleep Book, to unpack why sleep is so hard for ADHD brains, what’s really going on with circadian rhythms, the role of melatonin, and how families can work with biology instead of fighting it. Together they discuss:

🧬 Why ADHD sleep is different: biological vs behavioural, the impact of delayed body clocks, and why up to 75% of people with ADHD struggle when it comes to sleep.

⏰ Circadian clocks, chronotypes and teens: understanding delayed sleep phase, why we're more likely to be night owls, how adolescence shifts sleep even later, and why it's so hard to get up

🌞 Starting the day with light: the power of consistent wake-ups and morning light helps reset ADHD body clocks and becomes “free medicine” for ADHD sleep

🥱 Understanding melatonin: our natural hormone production, what it really does, and why prescriptions matter for safe use when supplemented

🧠 Why switching off is so hard: transitions, the fear of going to bed, racing brains at bedtime, and the value of externalised support

💊 Stimulant medication and sleep: the importance of using timing, hydration, and food to benefit from symptom management ADHD medication brings without ruining your sleep

😮‍💨 The impact on parents: chronic exhaustion, the power of family “summits”, plus why understanding ADHD sleep can help take the blame or shame out of bedtime and getting up in the morning

If bedtime is a battleground, mornings often bring meltdowns, and you’re wondering what’s as a result of having ADHD, versus a genuine sleep problem, this episode offers science-based reassurance, practical tools, and a deeply compassionate reframe to help the whole family.

Further resources & links

• The ADHD Sleep Book by Heather Darwall-Smith: https://amzn.eu/d/09MQ6NFM

• Heather’s website and clinical resources: https://heatherdarwallsmith.com/

• ADHD coaching and resources from Claire: https://allaboardadhd.com

• Follow Claire on Instagram & TikTok: @allaboardADHD

• Follow Heather Darwall-Smith on Instagram @thesleeppsychotherapist

The views shared in this episode are those of the guest, based on their professional expertise and personal experience. This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, educational, or psychological advice. Please consult a qualified professional for personalised support relevant to your individual circumstances.

How does perfectionism show up across ADHD, from childhood to adulthood, and what impact can it have on self-worth, motivation and mental health?

In this episode of All Aboard ADHD, Claire is joined by Dr. J. Russell Ramsay - a clinical psychologist, author of Once I Get Started, and co-founder of the Adult ADHD Treatment and Research Program at the University of Pennsylvania. Drawing on decades of clinical work and research, he explains why perfectionism is the dominant thinking pattern he sees in ADHD, how it drives challenges such as procrastination, avoidance, and emotional overwhelm - and crucially, what parents of ADHD kids can do to support them. They discuss:

🔍 What Perfectionism Really Is: the different ways it shows up in ADHD such as having “unrelenting standards” and "all‑or‑nothing thinking"

🧠 The Difference Between Front-End vs Back-End Perfectionism: needing to be “in the right mood” to start something vs not submitting work that’s “good enough”

⏳ Procrastination, Emotions & Comparison: exploring the impact of the “Frankenstein” comparison where we build a fictional impossible standard from what we see of others

👦How Perfectionism Develops in Children the impact of negative messaging, subtle criticisms like “see, you can do it!" on a “good day”, and the compounding effect of giving up quickly when things get hard

🤝 Body Doubling & Practical Workarounds: the power of using another person’s presence to get started on a task and stay on track

💪 Self-Worth, Self-Trust & Parenting Differently: the impact on children of separating their worth from performance or grades, plus the importance of noticing their effort, not just the outcomes

This episode is a must-listen for parents of ADHD children with perfectionist traits. You’ll walk away with a new lens on your child’s challenges, plus concrete scripts, mindsets, and strategies to reduce shame, ease homework battles, and help your child trust themselves again.

Further resources & links

• Find out more about Dr J Russell Ramsay: https://www.cbt4adhd.com/about/

• Other Books by Dr. J Russell Ramsay: https://www.cbt4adhd.com/work/

• Once I Get Started book by Dr. J. Russell Ramsay: https://amzn.eu/d/0eKNiXCi

• Research by Dr. Russell Barkley on ADHD and Self-Regulation: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9276836/

• Mindset Work by Dr. Carol Dweck: https://fs.blog/carol-dweck-mindset/

• ADHD Coaching and Resources from Claire: https://allaboardadhd.com

• Follow Claire on Instagram & TikTok: @allaboardADHD

The views shared in this episode are those of the guest, based on their professional expertise and personal experience. This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, educational, or psychological advice. Please consult a qualified professional for personalised support relevant to your individual circumstances.

How can understanding ADHD through a female lens, especially as a late‑diagnosed mum, change how we see ourselves and support our daughters?

In this episode of the All Aboard ADHD podcast, Claire is joined by Kate Moryoussef, host of the ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Podcast, author of The ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Toolkit, and a Women’s ADHD Wellbeing Coach.

Kate shares the story of her late diagnosis at 40 (alongside her then 9-year-old daughter), how ADHD showed up across her life, plus why sport, self-compassion, and the right environment can make all the difference for girls and women with ADHD. They discuss:

💡 Kate’s lockdown diagnosis: spotting ADHD traits in her daughter whilst homeschooling, being dismissed with “anxiety” by her GP, and the huge relief of receiving a “very strong combined ADHD” diagnosis.

📚 Viewing childhood through an ADHD lens: the school reports that “had it all written there”, being the “good, quiet” girl between two diagnosed ADHD brothers, the impact of masking, and how undiagnosed ADHD in girls is still missed today.

🚺 Gender and the emotional cost for women: people‑pleasing, RSD, anxiety, hormones, PMDD/PMS, postnatal struggles, and perimenopause.

🏃‍♀️ Sport, movement, and "energy in motion": why physical activity provides crucial regulation for ADHD brains, the important value for girls, plus the surprising link between ADHD and elite sport.

🏡 The neurodivergent home: trying to support ND kids while managing your own ADHD, capacity, and boundaries; plus letting go of the “perfect mum” myth.

🫶 Self‑compassion and small sustainable steps: how an ADHD diagnosis becomes an identity shift, how using this understanding can help us redesign life and model regulation for our children, plus the value of taking “little small steps each day”

🎙️ Diagnosis, curiosity, and learning: how understanding herself led Kate to create a platform that supports thousands of other late-diagnosed, mid-life women

If you're learning about your child's ADHD, while quietly wondering about your own, this conversation is for you. You'll come away with language to better understand yourself, practical ideas around movement, sport and regulation, and a little more compassion for yourself as a parent. Most importantly, you'll know you're not alone.

Further resources & links

• Listen to Kate’s podcast: ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Podcast: https://www.adhdwomenswellbeing.co.uk/adhd-podcast

• Buy Kate’s book: The ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Toolkit: https://www.adhdwomenswellbeing.co.uk/adhd-womens-wellbeing-toolkit

• Join Kate’s ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Membership: https://adhd-womens-wellbeing.mykajabi.com/more-yourself-membership

• Follow Kate on Instagram @kate_moryoussef and @adhd_womenswellbeing_pod

• Listen to Dr. Josephine Perry’s All Aboard ADHD episode on “ADHD in Sport”: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0PqFulsF5M10Ue9bhwZtNv?si=BKzHYMz_RdivtLuugEb0vg&utm_source=copy-link

• ADHD Coaching and Resources from Claire: https://allaboardadhd.com

• Follow Claire on Instagram & TikTok: @allaboardADHD

The views shared in this episode are those of the guest, based on their professional expertise and personal experience. This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, educational, or psychological advice. Please consult a qualified professional for personalised support relevant to your individual circumstances.

How do you fight for the SEND support your child is legally entitled to, within a system that’s underfunded, obstructive, and about to be reformed?

In this episode of the All Aboard ADHD podcast, Claire is joined by Douglas Hamer, a specialist SEND solicitor with expertise in special educational needs and disability law, alongside his owb lived experience of ADHD and autism. Douglas specialises in EHCPs, SEND tribunals, specialist placements, EOTAS, and judicial review.

They explore the ITV SEND Whistleblower Investigation, the upcoming SEND White Paper reforms, and what all this actually means for families struggling to access the support their children so desperately need. Together they discuss:

🎬 ITV Whistleblower: What Really Happened? Unpacking the allegations of Local Authority staff obstructing the EHCP process, avoiding paper trails, and “playing games” with families.

🚫 The Reality of Systemic Failure: how squeezed budgets, high staff turnover, and a “dehumanising culture” create delays, frustration and complete denial of support for so many families.

⚖️ Overwhelmed or Just Unlawful? When Local Authority behaviour crosses the legal line, and why accountability for their inaction is so weak.

🧱 The “Brick Through the Window” Moment: the importance of fighting for minority rights, and why we need more supportive MPs raising SEND issues in Parliament.

📜 Upcoming Reform: what the proposed White Paper could change in practice including EHCPs, ISPs, and Specialist Provision Packages; plus the potential impact on appeal rights and school choice.

🧭 What Parents Can Do Right Now: strategies such as maintaining a paper trail, staying calm in written communications, and why independent EP reports are so powerful.

🌱 Holding On to Hope: Douglas’s message to exhausted parents about persistence, pragmatism, and empowerment through knowledge.

If you’re battling for an EHCP or school placement and feel like you’re meeting resistance getting the right support for your child, this episode will validate your experience, explain what is allegedly going on behind the scenes, and provide concrete practical steps you can use today to move the process forward for your child.

Please note Douglas was in his office when this episode was recorded, so you will hear typing noises in the background.

Glossary:

• ABAS-3 https://www.pearsonclinical.co.uk/en-gb/adaptive-behavior/Adaptive-Behaviour-Assessment-System-%7C-Third-Edition/p/P100009113

• BAS3: https://www.gl-assessment.co.uk/products/bas3/

Further resources & links

• Douglas Hamer’s contact details: https://www.geldards.com/our-people/douglas-hamer/

• Geldard’s SEN Talks Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3aP6IMlKMWiaCce6bF2Uj5

• Listen to Douglas' previous All Aboard ADHD episode: EHCPs & SEND Law https://open.spotify.com/episode/7BrANDPqbNTgoskMjOhloo?si=8a9d803fb8d740eb

• ADHD Coaching and Resources from Claire: https://allaboardadhd.com

• Follow Claire on Instagram & TikTok: @allaboardADHD

The views shared in this episode are those of the guest, based on their professional expertise and personal experience. This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, educational, or psychological advice. Please consult a qualified professional for personalised support relevant to your individual circumstances.

How do sensory processing differences show up in children with ADHD, and how can parents offer better support?

In this episode of the All Aboard ADHD podcast, Claire is joined by Professor Samuele Cortese, Professor of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at the University of Southampton, Consultant Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist, and one of the world’s leading ADHD researchers, to understand sensory processing and ADHD.

Drawing on a major meta-analysis of 30 studies with over 5000 participants, Professor Samuele explains why sensory processing is highly relevant in ADHD, how it links to emotions, behaviour, and learning, what this means for ADHD assessment, plus how understanding our children's sensory needs can help us better support them at home and at school.

They discuss:

❓What sensory processing is: how our senses shape thinking, emotions, behaviour, and learning

🧩 ADHD and Sensory Processing: why sensory differences are not unique to autism, why it’s highly relevant for children with ADHD, and how they can also appear in neurotypical children

⚖️ Hypo vs Hyper: understanding sensory avoidance and seeking, plus how differences show up across tactile, visual, and auditory domains - not just touch or noise

📋 Why clinicians must start asking about sensory issues: the gap between evidence and diagnostic guidelines mean that sensory processing is often missed

🧠 What’s happening in the brain: the structural differences in white matter, changes in dopamine signalling, and how these may affect the way ADHD brains process sensory information.

💊 The effect of stimulant medications: why they might influence sensory processing, and why we need more research to understand the relationship in more detail

🌋 Sensory overload and emotional dysregulation: how sensory load can drive meltdowns and why clinicians must look for underlying causes to behaviours

🏫 Classrooms and school support: how the classroom environment can affect learning and regulation, plus the important role occupational therapists play

🫶 What parents can do: encouraging careful observation, recording concrete examples to share with clinicians and schools, as well as involving children in conversations about their own lived experience

If you’ve ever felt that professionals are missing something about your child’s overwhelm, meltdowns, or struggles, this episode gives you the language, the science, and practical next steps to join the dots between ADHD and Sensory Processing, to your child's emotions and behaviours, in order to advocate more effectively for the support your child needs.

Please note Professor Samuele was in his office when this episode was recorded, so you will hear notifications buzzing in the background.

Further resources and links

• Professor Samuele Cortese – University of Southampton profile: https://www.southampton.ac.uk/people/5xf5yj/professor-samuele-cortese

• Read the Sensory Processing in ADHD Meta-Analysis in full: https://www.jaacap.org/article/S0890-8567(25)00209-6/fulltext

• Listen to Professor Samuele Cortese’s previous All Aboard ADHD episode: ADHD Medication 101: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4D24IDKpNUJXPrdnK0o7ux?si=1b7708600d2844bc&nd=1&dlsi=e13c3972df164781

• ADHD coaching and resources from Claire: https://allaboardadhd.com

• Follow Claire on Instagram & TikTok: @allaboardADHD

The views shared in this episode are those of the guest, based on their professional expertise and personal experience. This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, educational, or psychological advice. Please consult a qualified professional for personalised support relevant to your individual circumstances.

How do fluctuating female hormones interact with ADHD? And why can perimenopause make everything feel like it’s suddenly falling apart?

In this episode of the All Aboard ADHD podcast, Claire is joined by Dr. Helen Wall - Senior NHS GP, British Menopause Society Specialist, and author of Menopause and ADHD.

Together they unpack the science to help women better understand the powerful connection between hormones, the brain, and ADHD. They discuss:

🧠 The Patient Who Changed Everything: how one “treatment‑resistant” patient, misdiagnosed for years with anxiety and depression, led Helen to realise “we were basically managing undiagnosed ADHD”. This, alongside her own perimenopause, sparked her mission to understand hormones and neurodivergence, reshaping her whole approach medically.

🎢 Dopamine, Oestrogen and the “Double Whammy”: why ADHD brains rely so heavily on stable dopamine, how wildly fluctuating oestrogen in perimenopause disrupts that signalling, and why so many women describe midlife as feeling like “a bomb has gone off” when it comes to their ability to function.

🎭 Masking, High Functioning, and the Hidden Cost: how girls learn to “fit in” using layers of scaffolding and people‑pleasing, until hormones shift, the mask slips, and the structure collapses: “what they were doing was never sustainable in the first place.”

🔍 ADHD vs Perimenopause: the huge overlap in symptoms (brain fog, emotional swings, overwhelm), how to tell what’s lifelong ADHD traits versus newer hormone-driven changes, and understanding why ADHD doesn’t start at menopause.

💊 HRT, Progesterone Sensitivity and Trial-and-Error: what we now know (and don’t yet know) about HRT in ADHD, body-identical vs synthetic progesterone, Mirena coils, and why some neurodivergent women respond very differently: “there’s no good and bad progesterone - every woman is very different.”

🌿 Lifestyle, Nervous System Regulation and Externalising the Brain: practical ways to widen your bandwidth: everything from stress, cortisol, sleep, and gut health; to cutting back on alcohol / caffeine. Plus ADHD‑friendly strategies like “externalising the brain” with lists, structure and support.

🎗️ Diagnosis, Support and Self-Advocacy: why you shouldn’t put your life on hold waiting years for an NHS assessment, the value of ADHD coaching and peer support, and Helen’s core message: “trust your gut… don’t diminish yourself.”

This episode is a validating, science-rooted deep dive for any woman wondering why midlife suddenly feels unmanageable, or whether ADHD and hormones might be part of the story.

Please note Helen was in her busy NHS GP office when this episode was recorded, so you will hear mic knocking, keyboard sounds, and background noise as a result.

Further resources and links:

• Follow Helen on Instagram: @doctorhelenwall

• Dr Helen Wall’s book Menopause and ADHD: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Menopause-ADHD-neurodivergence-Vermilion-Empowered-ebook/dp/B0FMHWD54R

• Find More about Helen’s Work: https://tvhealthdoctor.com/

• ADHD AF charity: https://adhdaf.org

• ADHD coaching and resources from Claire: https://allaboardadhd.com

• Follow Claire on Instagram & TikTok: @allaboardADHD

The views shared in this episode are those of the guest, based on their professional expertise and personal experience. This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, educational, or psychological advice. Please consult a qualified professional for personalised support relevant to your individual circumstances.