5. Who Are You Outside of All This? copertina

5. Who Are You Outside of All This?

5. Who Are You Outside of All This?

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If you've ever looked up from the calendar, the lunches, the aging parents, the career, the household, and thought, who am I outside of all of this, this episode is for you.We're stepping away from the physical side this week and talking about something more emotional. The quiet way women lose themselves in midlife. Not in one dramatic moment. In small additions of responsibility that pile up over years until purpose and passion get pushed to the very bottom of the list, if they're on the list at all.We ask about hobbies on our intake form on purpose. And so often the answer is some version of "I don't know what I like anymore." We've been there ourselves. Early motherhood, a growing clinic, young kids, and a season where the goal was just keeping our heads above water.We talk about the men in our lives who go golf for four and a half hours every week without a second thought, and the moment we realized we had nothing like that in our own calendars. We talk about the guilt that keeps women stuck, the patient who retired and went straight back to work because she didn't know who she was without it, and the thing that finally brought us back to ourselves. Spoiler: it's the reason we get up early, and it eventually turned into racing.We also get into what this actually requires. Boundaries. Saying no to something so you can say yes to you. Experimenting, even when it's uncomfortable. Nic's squash lessons and Nat's pickleball are proof we're doing it too.Consider this your permission slip.In this episode:(01:01) Who this episode is for, and why we're talking emotional health, not hormones (01:13) The quiet way women lose themselves: not one big moment, just years of small additions (02:03) Why hobbies are on our intake form, and what patients say when we ask (02:28) Losing your sense of play, and the guilt that shows up when you try to lean back into it (03:11) The patient who retired, felt lost, went back to work, and realized that wasn't it either (04:31) "I don't even know what I like anymore." The sentence we hear constantly (05:09) Mom guilt, and the belief that time for you has to come at someone else's expense (05:23) Our husbands golf for four and a half hours, unapologetically. Where's that time on our calendar? (05:56) The harder question: what would I even do with four and a half hours? (06:08) Shoulds vs. wants. Why the laundry always wins if you let it (06:26) Nat's rear view mirror exercise: what did you love before you were a mom, before the career, as a little girl? (06:50) What kids can teach us about gravitating toward your thing (07:38) Our own season of just keeping our heads above water (08:07) One off girlfriend nights aren't enough. Why you need something consistent that refills you (08:36) "Where do you fit on the family calendar?" (09:06) The thing that brought us back: movement, and the early morning decision that made it stick (10:37) How training became a hobby, and why racing gave us back our competitive edge (11:30) Doing things for pure joy, not shoulds, and letting go of the guilt that keeps us stuck (12:01) "I'm a more present mom, a calmer mom, a better mom when I take time for me." (12:46) The two things this actually requires: boundaries and saying no (13:17) You might have to experiment. Sign up for the class. Try it on (14:08) Nic's squash lessons: terrible with a racket, showing up anyway (14:57) Nat's pickleball afternoon and the joy of just goofing around (15:16) Why hobbies bring community back, especially when kids' activities stop being your social life (16:09) The two takeaways: get curious, and drop the guilt (17:01) Your permission slipKey takeaways:You didn't lose yourself in one moment. It happened quietly, one responsibility at a time. It can come back the same way. If you don't know what you like anymore, look backward. What did the little girl version of you love? Sporadic moments with friends are lovely. They're not the same as something consistent in your calendar that's just yours. Put yourself on the family calendar. Literally. Saying yes to you means saying no to something else. Time doesn't magically appear. Guilt keeps women stuck. You are a better mom, partner, and human when your cup is full. You may have to experiment, and it might feel uncomfortable. Do it anyway.Connect with us: Join the Empowered Midlife Hub Instagram: @dr_nic_and_nat Website: www.drnicandnat.comThe content shared on this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not a substitute for personalized care from your own healthcare provider. Nothing discussed creates a patient provider relationship. Please speak with your physician, nurse practitioner, or qualified healthcare professional about your individual health needs, and never ignore or delay professional advice because of something you heard here.DisclaimerThe information shared on this podcast is for educational and informational purposes ...
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