40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. copertina

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk.

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk.

Di: Rick Clemons
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Welcome to the only podcast exploring the messiness, awesomeness, of masculinity of being a gay man over 40. Each episode is about sparking idea, addressing challenges, and diving deep into what it looks like to be a vulnerable gay guy. We talk about the stuff us gay guys have a hard time talking about, man-to-man: masculinity, sex, careers, our bodies, parenting, sexuality, failures, success, and aging, relationships, coming out - nothing is off limits. 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk is the revamped version of 40 Plus: Real Men. Real Talk podcast and is a short format podcast that's easy to digest. We take deep dives - one topic at a time - digging up the truth of what it’s like to be a gay man, instead of some contrived expectation of masculinity. We’re reclaiming manhood and our masculinity by facing our fears, making bold moves, and living life without apologies. Join us, but you've got to drop your BS, forget posturing, and be ready to explore the comical dysfunctions of our lives as gay men 40+ years of age!Copyright 2026 Rick Clemons Igiene e vita sana Scienze sociali
Episodi
  • Stop Swiping, Start Connecting: Court Vox on Attraction, Intimacy, and What Gay Men Over 40 Get Wrong About Desire

    Stop Swiping, Start Connecting: Court Vox on Attraction, Intimacy, and What Gay Men Over 40 Get Wrong About Desire
    Jul 3 2026

    Gay men over 40 know how to find sex. What most of them have never been taught is how to find connection.

    Court Vox is a certified sex and intimacy coach, founder of The Bodyvox, and one of the sharpest voices working with GBTQ men on what actually gets in the way of real intimacy.

    He joins Rick to talk about choice fatigue on dating apps, the ruptures that quietly kill relationships before they start, and why so much of what gay men call attraction is really just unexamined shame running the show. This is the conversation about desire that most men are not ready to have.

    Key Takeaways:

    • How app culture creates choice fatigue that makes genuine connection harder
    • Why rupture and repair skills are the most underrated tools in any relationship
    • How to tell the difference between facts and feelings when conflict hits
    • The role homophobia and internalized misogyny play in gay men's attraction patterns
    • Why resistance to certain desires is almost always repression in disguise
    • What somatic coaching does that talk therapy alone cannot

    About Court Court Vox is a Certified Sex & Intimacy Coach, based in Los Angeles CA . He is Founder of The Bodyvox. Through his courses, workshops, retreats, and private immersions, clients cultivate toys to unlock limitations and shame, to embrace a deeper sense of intimacy with their whole self. Traditional forms of therapy are done solely through talk, while the work of a somatic coach is to further this form of work via body-based exercises, experiential learning, and touch, in comfortable, judgment-free, and caring environments. Body acceptance, exploration of sensation and desires (and learning how to ask for what you want), boundary-setting and intimacy work are some of the many reasons clients seek this form of learning. Vox is a sex educator experienced working with clients of all sexualities and genders and has been featured in AskMen.com, Cosmopolitan, and Well & Good magazines. He offers workshops and retreats across the globe for GBTQ men, and is also part of an elite team of sex educators that create the celebrated program for women, Back to the Body. His online course and community, Invitations to Intimacy, offers foundations in embodiment suited for the eroticerotic, as well as a community of like-minded individuals to support one another on their journey. Attend Courts Events in 2026 Camp Connect Connect - Joshua Tree Connect With Court Website Instagram Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
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    49 min
  • The Quiet Parts Out Loud: Huck Smith on Gay Dating, Bar Culture, and Becoming Real

    The Quiet Parts Out Loud: Huck Smith on Gay Dating, Bar Culture, and Becoming Real
    Jul 10 2026
    Gay bars are dying. Dating apps are killing real connection. And gay men over 40 are carrying stories they have never let themselves tell out loud. Huck Smith started posting honest essays online because he could not find anyone else saying the quiet parts. Then his first book hit number one on Amazon the day after it released. Boys, Bars, and Becoming is a collection of personal essays about identity, relationships, and the gap between who gay men are and who they perform being. Huck joins Rick to talk about what it took to write it and why so many gay men recognized themselves on the first page. Key Takeaways:
    • Why dating apps create disqualifying lists that kill connection before it starts
    • What gay men lost when bar culture changed and why it actually mattered
    • How older gay men project their own suppressed selves onto younger, more open men
    • Why gay men of a certain age were trained to perform masculinity instead of feel it
    • The importance of standing with transgender community members when it is uncomfortable
    • What writing toward the quiet contradictions of gay life actually requires

    About Huck Huck Smith is a writer whose work explores identity, relationships, and the quiet contradictions that shape everyday life, often landing somewhere between self-awareness and self-sabotage. He writes with equal parts humor and honesty. Boys, Bars, and Becoming is his first collection of essays. When he’s not writing, he’s probably at the gym, overthinking a text message, or convincing himself he doesn’t need another vintage action figure while actively bidding on one. Connect With Huck Website Instagram Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
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    58 min
  • Your Body Is Lying to You About Sex: Fran Frye Breaks Down What’s Really Happening For Gay Men

    Your Body Is Lying to You About Sex: Fran Frye Breaks Down What’s Really Happening For Gay Men
    Jul 17 2026
    Something goes wrong in bed and gay men immediately blame desire, performance, or themselves. Sex educator and trauma specialist Fran Frye says they're diagnosing the wrong problem. The real issue is the nervous system — and most men have no idea it's running the show. Rick and Fran dig into the five nervous system responses that hijack sexual experiences, why porn is an idea not a manual, and how shame quietly replaces honest communication for gay men over 40. This is not a conversation about dysfunction. It's about finally understanding what your body has been trying to tell you. Key Takeaways:
    • Why "erectile difficulties" are almost always psychological, not physical
    • How fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and fuck responses show up during sex
    • The difference between consent and compliance, and why it matters
    • Why gay men struggle more than most with saying no
    • What emotional literacy actually looks like in an intimate encounter
    • How to pause high arousal states before they run the show

    About Fran Fran Frye works at the intersection of sexuality, trauma, and compassion, with a particular focus on supporting men as they unpack their sexuality within a patriarchal culture that often labels them as dangerous, defective, or emotionally closed off. She helps dismantle these narratives through curiosity, empathy and practical tools that foster healthier relationships with the body, partners and self. A certified Sex Educator, Counselor, and Clinician trained in compulsive sexual behaviors, Fran is also a somatic sex practitioner. Her work spans sexual shame, trauma, grief, relationship rupture and body disconnection, grounded in both professional training and lived experience as a sexual assault survivor, former military spouse, and athlete. Beyond her professional work, Fran is deeply committed to service. Over the years she has volunteered in several areas of crisis and community support, including suicide prevention, rape victim’s advocacy, human trafficking prevention, and serving as a rape crisis hotline operator. She has also contributed to efforts addressing food scarcity, sits with hospice patients in their final chapters, and supports Veterans and their families. These experiences have brought her into close contact with trauma, grief, courage, and resilience - insights she carries directly into the compassionate, grounded way she supports others. Connect With Fran Website Instagram YouTube Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
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    48 min
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