Dispatched once again by Franklin Freight to uncover the secret behind Father Christmas’s impossible one-night, multisphere delivery operation, this alternate strike team approaches the North Pole with a markedly different strategy: absolute confidence, minimal subtlety, and an alarming amount of holiday cheer. Rather than brute-force destruction, the team simply walks in as if they belong, discovering that Santa’s operation runs not on reindeer but on crystalline nodes of concentrated Christmas cheer—sixteen of which are quickly “acquired” through polite questioning and light theft. The workshop’s true power reveals itself not through violence but logistics: hyper-organized shelves, obsessive inventory systems, and a revelation known only as “UPC,” which may stand for Universal Christmas… or something far more mundane and terrifyingly efficient. While one operative remains behind, fully compromised by cheer and questionable romantic entanglements with Santa’s staff, the rest extract with their secrets intact, pockets full of candy, and a creeping suspicion that Christmas itself may be a memetic hazard. The mission concludes not with bloodshed but with carols, whispered “watermelon” choruses, and the uneasy realization that Santa’s greatest weapon isn’t magic or force—it’s morale, bureaucracy, and an operation so cheerful that no one ever thinks to question it.

Trever Shirin: Dungeon Master

Ryan Lasley: Chalk - HR Manager

Hannah Lasley: Ms. Scam-Likely - Fraud Department

Noah Chaney: Magg - Call Center For Returns

Eliana Taylor: G(oblin).I. Joe - Loss Prevention Specialist

Alexis Young: Efse - Stock Room Manager