Tasked by Franklin Freight to uncover how Santa manages to deliver gifts across every crystal sphere in a single night, the crew is dispatched—poorly disguised and deeply unserious—to the North Pole for what was supposed to be a covert investigation. That plan collapses almost immediately when someone punches Santa’s butler, triggering a full-scale assault on the workshop. What follows is an explosive blend of goblin infiltration tactics, ceiling penetration (literal and otherwise), rocket launchers, elf labor revelations, and the complete destruction of Santa’s R&D department. Santa himself does not escape the encounter unscathed, suffering repeated indignities, a thorough robbery, and an ignominious defeat that leaves more questions than answers about the ethics of interplanar gift logistics. Amid the carnage, one goblin operative executes the mission in the most goblin way possible: disguising himself as a present, infiltrating the gift delivery system from the inside, and successfully being “delivered” to uncover the truth. By the time the dust settles, Santa’s workshop lies in ruins, most of the strike team is dead, and the operation is declared a success on the narrow technicality that someone learned how the system works. Franklin Freight is satisfied, the multiverse somehow survives, and Christmas is once again saved—through overwhelming violence, catastrophic improvisation, and deeply questionable decision-making.

Trever Shirin: Dungeon Master

Ryan Lasley: Jar

Aaron: Maverick

Jake Reib: Zow Slaytongue

Joshua Padgett: Dirt Nap

Datyious: Grum

Caleb Shirin: Nix Wobbs