Working with autistic children has taught me that some of the most important lessons aren't about finding better teaching strategies. They're about changing how we see children, understand communication, and define what meaningful progress actually looks like.

When I think about the educator I was more than 25 years ago, there are things I believed, approaches I used, and expectations I had that I see very differently today. Not because I wasn't trying to do what was best for children, but because I've continued learning from autistic people, families, research, and the children themselves.

In this episode, I'm sharing 10 things I wish I had known when I first started working with autistic children. We're talking about presuming competence, communication beyond speech, behavior as communication, regulation, autonomy, and why connection will always matter more than compliance.

Whether you're a preschool teacher, SLP, OT, paraprofessional, or parent, I hope this episode gives you permission to keep learning, keep questioning, and sometimes change your mind about what you thought you knew.

Because experience doesn't mean we have all the answers. Sometimes it means we've learned to ask better questions.

• What it really means to presume competence when supporting autistic children

• Why communication is so much bigger than spoken language

• How to move beyond saying "behavior is communication" and actually respond to what children are telling us

• Why regulation and connection are essential foundations for learning

• How connection over compliance changes the way we support children

• Why participation doesn't have to look the same for every child

• How following a child's interests can create meaningful learning opportunities

• The difference between independence and autonomy

• Why autistic voices and family perspectives should shape our practices

• Why being an experienced educator doesn't mean we should stop changing our minds

1. What Does It Really Mean to Presume Competence?

2. Is Communication More Than Just Spoken Words?

3. What Does "Behavior Is Communication" Actually Mean?

4. Why Should Regulation Come Before Teaching?

5. Why Is Connection More Important Than Compliance?

6. What Does Meaningful Participation Look Like for Autistic Children?

7. How Do I Follow an Autistic Child's Lead When I Have Teaching Goals?

8. What's the Difference Between Independence and Autonomy for Autistic Children?

9. Why Is It Important to Listen to Autistic People and Families?

10. Why Should Experienced Educators Keep Changing Their Minds?

You don't have to change everything about your teaching tomorrow. Instead, choose one of these 10 ideas that made you pause and think about how it shows up in your own classroom or therapy setting. Maybe it's presuming competence and noticing how often we ask children to demonstrate understanding before giving them access. Or maybe it's looking at a behavior you've been trying to stop and asking what the child might be communicating instead.

You might also think about what meaningful participation looks like for the children you support. Are we recognizing the child who moves during circle time as an active participant? Are we giving children meaningful choices, even when they need assistance? And how often are we creating opportunities for children to say no and have that communication respected?

Choose one idea to pay attention to this week and notice what happens when you change the question you're asking, the expectation you're holding, or the way you're responding. You don't need to have everything figured out or make a dozen changes at once. Sometimes the most meaningful growth starts with being willing to look at something a little differently.

Episode 200: 20 Conversations That Changed How I Think About Autism: Coming next week! We're celebrating 200 episodes by revisiting 20 past guest conversations and the perspectives that continue to shape how we understand and support autistic children.

Episode 188: Regulate, Connect, Routines, Teach:The four foundations that guide how I support autistic preschoolers, from regulation and relationships to predictable routines and meaningful teaching.