What if the way you’ve learned to love is actually holding you back—and even harming the people you care about most?

In this eye-opening episode of Thrive Loud, host Lou Diamond sits down with trauma therapist and founder of the Love Clarity Method, Sanya Bari, to dive deep into what love really is…and unpacks the hidden traps of guilt, emotional over-responsibility, and survival-based love that plague even the most successful high achievers. Prepare to challenge everything you thought you knew about loving others and yourself.

Lou Diamond and Sanya Bari break down:

• Why “losing yourself” in love can backfire, and what loving from a place of inner stability actually looks like
• The dangers of transactional love and why putting yourself aside for others leads to resentment (even when it feels selfless)
• Real-life stories of how guilt and manipulation can sneak into parent-child relationships—and how to spot and heal these patterns
• What we can learn about pure connection and forgiveness from dogs—and how it differs from the messy, memory-filled world of human love
• The fundamental difference between doing loving things and loving from the right place within yourself
• Sanya Bari’s personal methods for “drinking the Kool Aid” and keeping her own relationships healthy and clear

Plus: Get a peek into Sanya Bari’s favorite guilty pleasures, creative hobbies, and her dream destination on Fun Street.

This episode is full of “aha” moments for anyone who’s felt confused, overwhelmed, or just curious about how to make love—whether for people, pets, or purpose—transformative instead of toxic.

Timestamped Overview:

00:00 – Introduction and Lou welcomes Sanya Bari

00:01 – Sanya shares her lifelong purpose and origin story

00:03 – Early lessons about love (family, siblings, sacrifice)

00:04 – Redefining love: Not losing yourself; finding stability within

00:05 – The problems high achievers face with survival-based love

00:07 – Connection vs. dependence; how disconnection leads to pressure

00:09 – Who seeks out Sanya’s therapies, and why

00:10 – Symptoms of problematic love, especially related to guilt

00:11 – Generational struggles: families, guilt, and unhealthy dynamics

00:12 – Sanya reveals how she checks herself and confronts “guilting”

00:13 – Can we learn true love from our pets? (And why memories matter)

00:15 – How forgiveness moves us closer to unconditional love

00:15 – The universal head-nodding moments from Sanya’s audiences

00:16 – Where to find Sanya Bari online and her podcast info

00:17 – Fun Street: Sanya’s favorite movies, music, foods, and hobbies

00:19 – Dreaming of the Amalfi Coast—and why she’ll make it happen

00:20 – Wrap up, takeaways, and episode close

Listen in and discover how to thrive with clarity, connection, and love—starting with yourself.