"Death and life are in the power of the tongue." (Proverbs 18:21). We’ve all heard this scripture, but how often do we actually stop to measure the weight of the words we speak to our spouse? In the daily grind of marriage—when we are tired, stressed, or frustrated—our words can easily shift from building up to quietly tearing down.In this episode, Robert and Kaci put our communication under the microscope. We ask the hard, convicting question: Are the words coming out of my mouth bringing life to my spouse, or are they slowly draining it away?Reflecting on our 20 years together, we share how we transitioned from a secular pattern of communication—where sarcasm, keeping score, and defensive jabs were the norm—to a biblical standard of edification. We talk about the difference between constructive honesty and destructive criticism, and how to speak truth in love, even when you’re angry.If your daily conversations with your spouse have started to feel more like a minefield than a safe haven, this episode is a breath of fresh air. Let’s learn how to use our words to heal, restore, and strengthen our covenant.📌 What We Cover in This Episode:The Slow Leak: Recognizing the "micro-harms" we commit with our tone, sarcasm, rolling eyes, and passive-aggressive comments.What is Edification? Unpacking what it practically means to "build up" your spouse according to Ephesians 4:29.Speaking Life in the Storms: How our communication had to change to survive the trials of infidelity, cancer, and prison.The "Before You Speak" Audit: Practical filters to run your words through before they leave your mouth when tension is high.

What happens when the person you love loves something you just can't stand? Maybe one of you is obsessed with fitness, a specific hobby, or a career path, while the other couldn't care less. In the early stages of a relationship, we try to force ourselves to like everything our partner likes. But as the years roll on, the reality sets in: our passions don't always align.

In this episode, Robert and Kaci tackle the common marital roadblock of differing interests. It’s easy to feel lonely or disconnected when your spouse doesn’t share your enthusiasm for the things that make you come alive. We look back at our own 20-year journey to share how we learned to navigate our individual differences without driving a wedge into our relationship.

We’re breaking down the difference between secular compatibility (which says you have to be identical to stay together) and biblical unity (which celebrates individual giftings while keeping the core foundation the same). Tune in as we discuss how to support your spouse’s passions, guard against resentment, and ensure that your ultimate shared passion remains Jesus Christ.

📌 What We Cover in This Episode:

• The Myth of the Carbon-Copy Spouse: Why having different hobbies, interests, and passions is actually healthy for a marriage.

• When Individual Passions Become Idols: How to recognize when a hobby or pursuit is pulling you away from your covenant responsibilities.

• Learning to Cheer From the Sidelines: Practical ways to show up for and support your spouse’s interests even when you don't fully understand them.

• The Anchor Passion: Why centering your marriage on a shared devotion to Christ allows you to remain deeply connected, no matter how different your everyday hobbies are.

"My money, your money, and our household bills." In today's culture, keeping separate bank accounts and protecting your own financial assets is seen as the smart, safe way to do marriage. But does the "prenup mentality" actually protect your relationship, or does it quietly keep you divided?

In this episode, Robert and Kaci tackle the highly debated topic of money and marriage. We're looking at why so many modern couples refuse to pool their resources, and we are using the Bible to completely debunk the secular idea of separate finances.

Reflecting on our 20-year journey, we talk about the shift from a secular mindset of independence to a biblical mindset of true covenant unity. We unpack the spiritual reality of Genesis 2:24—that when you marry, the two become one flesh. And guess what? That includes your bank accounts, your debt, your income, and your resources.

If you and your spouse have struggled to get on the same page financially, or if the idea of a joint checking account terrifies you, tune in. Let’s talk about how total transparency with your money leads to total intimacy in your marriage.

• The "Mine vs. Yours" Trap: How separate bank accounts can breed mistrust, secrecy, and a lack of accountability.

• The Theology of "One Flesh": Why merging your finances is a physical and practical reflection of your spiritual covenant.

• Overcoming Financial Fear: Addressing the baggage, past wounds, or control issues that make people hesitate to share resources.

• Practical Unity: How pooling everything together changes the way you communicate, dream, and fight for your future as a team.

📌 What We Cover in This Episode:

It’s the one word that makes modern culture cringe and has caused countless arguments in Christian households: Submission. Mention Ephesians 5 at a dinner party, and the room goes quiet. But has the church’s definition of submission been twisted into something God never intended?

In this episode, Robert and Kaci tackle one of the most controversial topics in Christian marriage. We aren't holding back as we ask the hard question: Does the Bible really command women to blindly submit, or have we completely missed the point of the passage?

Reflecting on our 20 years together, we talk about how a worldly view of power and control almost destroyed us during our secular years—and how discovering true, biblical submission completely transformed our relationship. We dive into the context that most people skip over, including the command for husbands to lay down their lives, and how mutual surrender to Christ changes the entire dynamic.

If this topic makes you uncomfortable, or if you’ve seen this scripture weaponized, this episode is for you. Let’s unpack the truth behind the text.

📌 What We Cover in This Episode:

• The Cultural Cringe: Why the word "submission" triggers so much pushback today and how it has been historically misused.

• The Missing Verse: Why you can't understand Ephesians 5:22 (wives, submit) without first reading Ephesians 5:21 (submit to one another).

• The Husband's Heavy Burden: What it practically means for a husband to love his wife "as Christ loved the church" by sacrificing his own ego, desires, and comfort.

• Safety vs. Control: How a wife's submission is never about inferiority, but rather a response of trust to a husband who is actively serving and protecting her.

Have you ever felt like God was a million miles away? In a marriage, we often assume that both spouses will experience their faith at the exact same pace. But what happens when one of you is on a spiritual mountaintop, and the other is walking through a dark, dry valley?

In this episode, Robert and Kaci get incredibly transparent about their individual faith journeys over the last 20 years. We ask each other the hard question: When have you felt the closest to God, and when have you felt the furthest?

As we looked back on our seasons of infidelity, cancer, and prison, we made a startling realization: in the moments when one of us felt completely distant from God, God was actively drawing closer to the other. When Robert was at his furthest, God was anchoring Kaci—and vice versa.

Tune in as we discuss how God uses the spiritual strength of one spouse to sustain the marriage when the other is weak, and how to navigate the seasons when your faith feels out of sync.

📌 What We Cover in This Episode:

• The Spiritual Mismatch: How to handle seasons where you and your spouse aren't on the same page spiritually.

• God’s Tag-Team Grace: Looking back at our hardest trials and seeing how God held one of us up while the other was struggling.

• Honesty in the Valleys: Overcoming the shame of admitting to your spouse when you feel distant from God.

• Carrying the Weight: How to pray for and support your spouse when they are in a spiritual desert without becoming resentful.

It’s easy to say God is part of your marriage, but is He actually at the center of it? There is a massive difference between inviting God along for the ride and letting Him take the wheel. When the storms of life hit—whether it’s financial ruin, sickness, or broken trust—whatever is truly at the center of your relationship will be exposed.

In this episode, Robert and Kaci tackle the foundational question that changes everything: Who or what holds the center spot in your marriage? We look back honestly at our own 20-year journey, contrasting the years when we were at the center (driven by selfishness and worldly expectations) with the moment we surrendered it all and put Jesus Christ at the core.

We’re breaking down what a Christ-centered marriage actually looks like in the messy, day-to-day reality. It’s not about perfection; it’s about a shared devotion to forgiveness, grace, and purpose.

Join us as we challenge you to audit your relationship and discover the unshakable peace that comes when Christ is the anchor of your home.

📌 What We Cover in This Episode:

• The Center Shift: The difference between a self-centered marriage and a Christ-centered marriage.

• Tested by the Fire: How putting Jesus at the center allowed us to survive infidelity, cancer, and prison when everything else failed.

• Daily Surrender: What it practically means to let God lead your communication, your conflicts, and your future.

• The Three-Strand Cord: Understanding Ecclesiastes 4:12 and why a marriage wrapped in Christ cannot be easily broken.

Welcome to the very first episode of Still Going Strong (?)! In this introduction, we wanted to pull back the curtain and let you know exactly who we are and what this podcast is all about.

We are Robert and Kaci, and after 20 years together, we can tell you one thing for certain: we are not your typical, picture-perfect marriage podcast. We’ve lived a secular marriage and a Christian one. We’ve survived the exact storms that tear most families apart—infidelity, a cancer diagnosis, and a prison sentence. By the world's standards, we shouldn't be standing here today. But through the grace of Jesus Christ, we are.

In this episode, we share a snapshot of our journey and lay out our vision for this show. We aren't here to give you cliché, superficial advice. We’re here to be real, genuine, and transparent about the beautiful, messy reality of building a Christ-centered relationship.

Whether you are happily cruising along or fighting for the survival of your relationship, pull up a chair. Let's find out what it means to be Still Going Strong.

• Who We Are: Get to know Robert and Kaci and our 20-year journey.

• The Secular vs. The Christian Marriage: How shifting our foundation changed everything.

• Why the "(?)": The meaning behind the title and why we all need to check in on our marriages.

• What to Expect: Why this podcast will always choose raw honesty over cookie-cutter platitudes.

Every single day, our marriages are being shaped by outside forces. From the social media feeds we scroll through and the advice of well-meaning friends, to the entertainment we consume and the culture around us—we are constantly being influenced. But the real question is: Are those influences building our marriage up, or quietly tearing it down?

In this episode, Robert and Kaci dive deep into the voices and values we allow into our relationships. Reflecting on our own 20-year journey, we talk about the stark contrast between our years living in a secular marriage versus a Christ-centered one, and how changing who (and what) we listened to changed everything for us.

We’re getting real about how to audit your inner circle, how to guard your heart against cultural lies about romance and commitment, and how to ensure that God’s Word is the loudest voice in your home.

Grab your spouse, tune in, and let’s ask the hard question together: Who is really running the script for your marriage?

📌 What We Cover in This Episode:

• The Invisible Influencers: Recognizing the subtle things (media, culture, comparisons) that shift how we view our spouses.

• Secular vs. Biblical Voices: How changing our foundation changed the advice we took and the decisions we made.

• Guarding Your Marriage: Practical ways to protect your relationship from toxic external opinions.

• The Ultimate Filter: Making Christ the standard for how we love, forgive, and communicate.