Why Difficult People Are Often Protecting Something

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Why Difficult People Are Often Protecting Something

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When a dog reacts, people ask whether it is a rescue. When a person reacts at work, they usually get written up. Jackye Clayton talks with Katrina Collier, author of The Damage of Words, about Lance, the dog who taught her she was worthy of love, and what that taught her about defensive, prickly behavior at work. They talk about learning to receive kindness, how old wounds show up in meetings, why documenting beats defending when someone turns a team against you, and why trust takes much longer than a two-week onboarding. People who seem difficult at work are often protecting themselves from something that happened before. Giving people the same patience we give a rescue dog changes how they respond. Learning to accept kindness is a skill, and some people have to learn it as adults. When someone turns a team against you, write down facts instead of defending yourself in the moment. Rewards and recognition only work when they match what the person values. Yelling and pressure stop learning, for dogs and for people. Trust is built over months, not during a two-week onboarding. Hiding at work is often a sign that someone does not feel safe yet. 00:00 - Cold open: is that a rescue? 00:27 - The soul dog 04:22 - Learning to receive love 10:12 - Bringing wounds and scars to work 13:04 - Document, do not defend 16:12 - Finding the reward that works 17:34 - What a shaking dog taught about yelling 18:33 - Hiding in plain sight trauma informed leadership, difficult employees, psychological safety, workplace conflict, rescue dog lessons, employee trust, toxic coworkers, documentation at work, recognition and rewards, leadership and empathy

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