The Hidden Cost of Needing Everyone to Be Okay

There’s a difference between being peaceful and needing there to be peace.

If you need everyone around you to be happy, comfortable and pleased with you, keeping the peace can become a full-time job.

You monitor people’s reactions. Soften what you really mean. Say yes when you mean no. Take responsibility for someone else’s disappointment. Rush in to fix tension before you’ve even decided whether it’s yours to fix.

And ironically, all that peacekeeping can leave you with very little peace inside yourself.

In this fourth installment of Bypassing Bites, we look at what happens when our desire for harmony becomes a way of avoiding discomfort—and why someone else’s disappointment, frustration or disagreement doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve done something wrong.

Real peace has room for awkwardness. It has room for disagreement. It even has room for someone not being happy with you.

Your Bypassing Bite:
Can I allow someone else to be disappointed without immediately trying to make their disappointment go away?

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