Talking about death is uncomfortable. Talking about how we want to die? That's a conversation most of us avoid altogether.

In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Eliesa and Robyn sit down with Sarah Longacre and Wendy Brown to share the extraordinary story of Cheryl Hauser, a wife, mother, and advocate whose Alzheimer's diagnosis led her to make a deeply personal end-of-life decision through Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking (VSED).

Cheryl spent her final years documenting her journey, not to tell others what to do, but to encourage families to have honest conversations about end-of-life wishes, autonomy, and what it means to live—and die—with intention. Her story is now featured in the documentary The Cheryl Hauser Effect, helping families around the world navigate some of life's hardest conversations.

Together, we explore Alzheimer's, advance care planning, VSED, caregiving, grief, and the courage it takes to talk openly about death before a crisis forces the conversation.

This episode is thoughtful, emotional, and ultimately hopeful. Whether you're caring for aging parents, facing a difficult diagnosis in your family, or simply wondering how to start talking about end-of-life wishes, Cheryl's story is one you won't soon forget.

Takeaways

• Talking about death is hard, but talking about it matters.
• Knowing someone's wishes is one of the greatest acts of love.
• Every family deserves to understand their end-of-life options.
• Honoring someone's choices can be the hardest - and kindest - thing we do.
• Dignity, joy, and purpose can exist until the very end.
• VSED requires a lot of planning to make sure everyone is emotionally and logistically on board to preserve your loved one’s comfort and dignity through the process.
• Cheryl Hauser and her story are opening up the conversation about choosing how we die.
• No matter what the right choice is for you, plan the party, invite your people and live your fullest right up until the end.

Links + Resources:

Cheryl Hauser Effect Website

Compassion and Choices

Chemin - Wendy Longacre Brown’s end of life doula website and resources

“Choosing to Die” Book by Phyllis Schacter

Minnesota Death Collaborative - a group of integrative death professionals who serve our community in a variety of ways.

Chapters

00:00 Introducing the sisters: Sarah and Wendy

03:53 An Intro to The Cheryl Hauser Effect Documentary

05:51 Who is Cheryl Hauser : A Mother's Legacy

28:30 Shifting Perspectives: Conversations About Mortality

31:08 Medical Aid vs. VSED: Understanding the Options

39:37 When is it time to VSED? How do you know?

44:02 The legalities of choosing VSED - a candid conversation

50:54 Setting the Stage for VSED - What's is really like?

01:06:16 TheCherylHauserEffect.com

01:08:29 Reaction and Final Thoughts from Robyn + Eliesa