8. Why We Cling to Stories That Hurt Us — And How to Rewrite Them
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We don't just carry old stories. We follow their instructions.
In this episode, I unpack one of the most persistent patterns I see in myself and in my clients: the stories we form to save ourselves that end up keeping us stuck. I get into how my background in history, narrative therapy, and my experience navigating a first marriage, to show you how these stories get created, what they're protecting us from, and what it actually takes to rewrite them.
In this episode:
- Why old stories feel like facts — and how to start questioning that
- The "I'm not enough" root story and how it directs your decisions and relationships
- What the hidden payoff of a painful story actually looks like (and why this question requires radical honesty)
- The difference between finding a positive spin vs. finding a truer story
- How to use your own personal history as evidence for the alternative narrative
- Why the deepest wounds are usually the last to heal — and what intentionality actually looks like in practice
- What it means to strip back to who you actually are vs. who you've been conditioned to be
Honorable mentions in this episode:
- Name the Narrative Sessions: A free 45-minute session to identify the dominant story shaping your reactions, relationships, and decisions.
- Rewritten: The 8-week narrative practice built around the Beyond the Story Method
♥ Connect with me on Instagram: @jessicagraham.storycoach
♥ Start the process with a FREE Name The Narrative Session.
♥ Sign up for the FREE monthly gathering for ambitious women in business, Stories in Action.
♥ Book a call to discuss narrative coaching.
About me: I help female founders and ambitious women rewrite the stories that are keeping them stuck in outdated identities.