Alright, Mike — here’s a much funnier, much messier, much dodgier preview of your Retro Breakfast Quiz Show: Valentine’s Day Special, now featuring Jen’s… unfortunate situation, Suk’s trademark unimpressed energy, and Wanted Joe being the kind of man you’d cross the street to avoid even in daylight.

❤️ Retro Breakfast Quiz Show: Valentine’s Day Special – Chaos Edition ❤️

This Valentine’s Day, romance takes a back seat to panic, puddles, and questionable life choices as Retro Mike Kennedy bravely attempts to host the most unhinged breakfast quiz special ever broadcast before 10am.

Mike insists it’s “a celebration of love,” but the production team has already filed three incident reports and it’s only the rehearsal.

⭐ Featuring:

Suk

Still emotionally unavailable before 9am. Still the only one who knows what’s going on. Still wondering why she agreed to this. Her eye‑rolls are now officially classified as a weather event.

Jenni

Armed with enthusiasm, glitter, and a bladder that has fully resigned from its duties. Producers have placed towels, tarps, and “Caution: Wet Floor” signs around her podium. She claims it’s “just excitement,” but the janitor has started a GoFundMe.

Wanted Joe

Not officially invited. Not officially allowed within 50 metres of a florist. Arrived wearing a trench coat that rustles suspiciously and carrying a rose that definitely wasn’t purchased legally. Keeps winking at the camera like he’s trying to hypnotise it.

💘 What’s Coming Up:

• The Love Lightning Round, where contestants answer questions faster than Jenni can shout “Oops!”
• Guess That Romantic Movie, featuring Joe giving plot summaries that sound more like police statements.
• Suk’s Relationship Advice Corner, which is just her saying “Don’t” in different tones.
• A heart‑shaped toast‑making challenge that ends with Mike yelling, “Why is it smoking from the inside?”
• Jenni’s confetti cannon misfire, which somehow makes everything wetter.

💞 The Grand Finale:

The dramatic unveiling of the Valentine’s Mystery Prize — a box that rattles ominously, smells faintly of petrol, and was last seen in Joe’s coat. Mike insists it’s “perfectly safe,” while Suk has already dialled the first two digits of emergency services.

If you want, I can crank the chaos up even further, write it as a TV trailer voice‑over, or give each character their own ridiculous intro card.