If you are self-aware, emotionally intelligent and still finding yourself people-pleasing or walking on eggshells in your relationship, this episode will help you understand why, without blaming yourself.

Trauma-informed coach and somatic therapist Steffi Seefeld joins me to unpack why so many high-achieving women feel confident and successful on the outside, yet anxious, unseen, or unsure in their relationships.

If you’re a midlife woman who identifies as empathetic, driven, and emotionally aware — but still finds yourself people-pleasing, self-abandoning, or choosing emotionally unavailable partners — this conversation will help you understand why and what actually helps create change.

Steffi explains how early childhood conditioning, emotionally unavailable caregivers, and family dynamics wire the nervous system for survival, not self-trust. We talk about why insight alone isn’t enough to break relationship patterns, how people-pleasing shows up in love and at work, and why learning to feel safe in your body is the key to choosing healthier relationships in midlife.

This episode is especially relevant for women navigating midlife transitions who are questioning their relationships, struggling with guilt or over-functioning, or sensing in their body that something needs to change — even if they don’t yet know what.

In this episode, we discuss:

•Why self-aware women still end up in unhealthy relationships

•How people-pleasing and self-abandonment are learned survival strategies

•The link between childhood emotional conditioning and adult relationship patterns

•Why insight and therapy aren’t always enough to create lasting change

•How the nervous system keeps us stuck in familiar but unsafe dynamics

•Signs you may be dimming your light or editing yourself to keep the peace

•How people-pleasing shows up for high-achieving women and female leaders

•What it actually means to rebuild self-trust in midlife

•How slowing down and nervous system regulation support healthier choices in love and life

•Why healing in community can accelerate change

Steffi also shares details about her group program, Rising Woman, which supports women in midlife who are ready to move out of survival mode and into relationships — and lives — that feel safer, steadier, and more aligned.

Connect with Steffi:

Book a Discovery Call

3-Min Nervous System Reset

Episode Highlights:

00:00 Understanding Emotional Safety in Relationships

02:58 Childhood Experiences and Their Impact

08:10 Understanding Narcissism & Wounded Empaths

10:37 Sibling Dynamics

13:01 Learning Self-Awareness

20:37 The Importance of Nervous System Regulation

26:30 Key Takeaways

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For more midlife musings: @midlifeadvicepodcast | @belongwellness
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